BDSM Rules You Must Never Break

It is easy to assume that BDSM is risky and not safe, but if you do a little research to learn more about it, you will come to see that it is something that can be done safely. Diving into BDMS without any background knowledge is a sure way to hurt yourself and your partner.

bdsm rules

That is the obvious reason why you should never try out BDSM game without doing any research to learn the rules governing them.

The movie fifty shades of grey book and movie brought BDSM to the spotlight a few years ago. A lot of people who knew practically nothing about it are now curious and what to learn what it is all about.

So, in this article, we are going to be looking at some basic information on BDSM and some rules that govern it.

Why set rules?

If you are new to BDSM, you likely may be wondering why there is a need to set rules. Truth be told, BDSM is not life-threatening or very dangerous, but some activities can do serious damage to your emotions and physical well-begin. This is likely going to happen if you and your partner are not open-minded and rush into things without doing any research.

The rules governing BDSM are not there to limit your sexual pleasures but are there to protect you and your partner while giving you a window to have a great time.

BDSM rules

Below are some BDSM rules you need to follow. Ignore them at your own peril. Of course, you don’t need to follow them to the letter, but if play by them, things will never spiral out of control.

Acknowledge the risks

As you likely now know, BDSM is not risk-free, but with knowledge and preparation, you will be able to reduce these risks. There are a couple of ideologies you need to ingrain to your brain to mitigate risks and keep things under control.

Hurt don’t harm- don’t engage in activities that can cause long-term harm to your partner. Also, you have to avoid activities that can lead to a serious accident.

Take risks, but know when to stop- Kinky activities aren’t meant to be 100% safe and pain-free. The risks involved are what make it fun and exciting. Just try not to take things too far.

Once you have gotten a clear picture of the risks involved in BDSM, you can then proceed to the other rules.

Never engage in BDSM activities under the influence

Taking a few drinks before sex is no big deal. But when it comes to BDSM you must never drink alcohol or take drugs especially if you plan to engage in strenuous activities like needle play among others.

Drugs can not only dull your senses but can also slow down your reaction time. So, if you are under the influence, it is likely going to take you more to perceive danger and act appropriately. Being sober is one of the most important rules when it comes to BDSM.

Safeword

The importance of *safe words* in BDSM cannot be overemphasized. Without it, you might really hurt your partner without knowing. A safe word is basically a word you say or a signal you give when you are gagged, at you limit or you can’t take it anymore.

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If you are dominating, the safe word will help you know if your partner is okay or not. Keep in mind that safe word isn’t only for the submissive, dominators can also use it as well.

Choosing a safe word

There is no hard and fast rule when it comes to choosing a safe word. That said, it is smart to pick a word or a unique sign to express your discomfort. When you or your partner says your safe word, play should stop immediately.

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Some people use colors to denote their level of discomfort. Red means stop, yellow means proceed with care or caution, green means- go ahead.

As a dominator, you have to obey the safe word strictly to retain your partner's trust.

Open communication channel

This is one of the most important rules in BDSM, but only a handful of people pay attention to it. Honest communication is critical to the success of a regular relationship and is even more important when it comes to BDSM.

Yes, talking about sex might be difficult and uneasy for you, but if you something you must do. You should learn to freely air out your desire, needs, feeling, and thoughts to your partner without any hassle.

Answering the questions listed below will help you get to know yourself and your partner better.

  • 1. How do you feel about BDSM?
  • 2. Why do you want to try BDSM?
  • 3. Do you feel the drive to be the submissive or dominant?
  • 4. Do you feel safe and confident when playing with your partner?

Learn how to use your tools

There are a lot of tools involved in BDSM. The most common or popular of them included (whips, canes, flogger, fucking machine, dildos, needles, bondage furniture, violet wands, tape, hoods, cuffs, collars and many more).

Of course, you are not expected to own or learn how to use all of them. But you should know how to care for the ones you have. Pay attention to what each item are made from and the right way to care for them.

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Keep in mind that you are not going to learn how to use these tools overnight. So, take things gradually and practice with the tools you have to improve your aim and accuracy.

There are certain tools that can cause serious damage to health you might not know about. For example, a violet wand should never be used on people who have a pacemaker.

Before using any tool, make sure you read its instructions carefully and find videos on it online. Better still, you can find a mentor or an expert to show you the right way to use the tools you have.

Prepare for the worst

Preparing for an emergency or the worst case scenario is one rule you must never ignore. Below are some ways you can prepare.

  • Have a first aid kit and fire extinguisher close by
  • Attend to bruises immediately
  • Never use un-sterilized items to cut or pierce
  • Having an extra key to each lock
  • Don’t hit broken skin

Aftercare

Attend to the physical and emotional needs of your partner after a play session. Prepare a blanket, a cool drink, and a nice place to relax. You might also apply skin care balms to affected areas.

Final note

These are just a handful of the rule you need to follow to have a safe and fun BDSM play session.